Feedback is NOT an Attack!

How I’ve been learning to not take feedback and critique so personally

Last year, I realized that I receive feedback the same way that I would receive a punch in the face: painfully, personally and angrily. In my mind, they were one in the same. Feedback on my work and my creativity felt like you were calling me the worst, tearing apart my work for all that it was and telling me, “Don’t quit your day job” (even if that feedback came from my day job).

Maybe it’s the frontal lobe development, the three years in the workforce since graduating, or maybe it’s my brain’s reaction to a better sleep schedule and consistent morning routine. I can finally say I’m getting better at receiving and filtering feedback and critique. The key to better reception? I no longer see feedback as an attack on me as a person and my creativity.

This can prove itself difficult because a lot of times, feedback is on something I’ve spent precious time creating that feels so personal. I realized that in order to grow in my career as a creative, I cannot separate myself from critique. A creative’s journey without critique is just a highway to a vapid career. It doesn’t allow for growth, evolving or learning.

In the past, I’ve seen feedback almost as a stunt to my growth, not a stimulant for it. And not in a “I’m better than this person’s feedback they know nothing!” way, but in more of a self deprecating way, seeing feedback as proof that I’m no good at what I’m aspiring to do.

These thoughts stem from many aspects of my life. I think the main area it stems from is the constant self doubt that I think many creatives face. I am always thinking that there are so many people who want to pursue the same dreams and career as I do, so why would I even try? From that stems this sense that if others are critiquing my work, they are proving this theory I’ve created and building a foundation for my doubts.

Wild, right?

Another aspect of this journey has been letting go of my personal attachment to work I create for others, whether it be for freelance clients or my 9 to 5. When working with outside partners/clients, I have to realize they have a specific vision for how they want to best present themselves or their company, through my work. That means, if they have tedious feedback or critique, it’s not an attack on me as a creative. They want to get as close as possible to their vision, not my personal vision for them.

This is HARD, I’ll admit. Especially when you are putting your name on something, whether it’s social media content for your agency or designs for a brand. Sometimes, you have to simply let go of your personal attachment to the work, for your sanity and for the timeline of the project. This shouldn’t be done for all work of course, because oftentimes you are being paid for your personal voice in the work (i.e., content creators, graphic designers/brand designers, gallery artists, musicians, etc.). You have to decide how attached or detached you want to be from the work and understand that an email asking for a font change doesn’t mean you should find a new career.

As I’ve been on this journey of letting go of self-doubt, embracing critique and also filtering the voices that I give validity to when it comes to my work, I’ve found myself to be more malleable, and actually seeing a sense of growth.

Speaking of filtering the voices, that’s another integral part to this feedback journey. In a world of social media comments and never-ending opinions, it’s sometimes hard to filter whose voices should stay and whose should go. For me, I tend to allow feedback from people who have a history with me, whose opinions I trust, creatives I admire or individuals who give critical thought to the critique. This goes for all critique, good and bad. If creatives allowed every “This is good” and “This is bad” comment to impact our work and how we create, we’d constantly be shaped into a version of ourselves that is not true to who we’ve been created to be.

I have to remind myself daily that not every voice deserves a presence in my creative process. You can open yourself up to any and all feedback, but you should be mindful of how much of it you are allowing a seat at your table.

This journey has also shown me that I need to allow more people in my life to critique my work. Whether this is sharing my work with friends and asking for honesty, or sharing concerns about my work and asking my friends for their thoughts, I never want to be a creative surrounded by “yes men”. I want to have balance, and if I actually want to grow, I have to open myself up to the positive, negative and everything in between.

I could go on and on about my journey, but I think the biggest game changer for me this year has been letting go of the negative connotation I have with critique. It has helped me grow as a person, a creative person and also shown me that this process is a learning journey, and I have a ways to go.

Say it with me now: Feedback is NOT an attack!

QTNA:

• How do you take critique? Positively or negatively?

  • If you answered negatively, why so?

• How do you filter out which feedback is productive and which is not?

Have a lovely week!

xx,

vic

P.S - podcast episode comes out Thursday, March 13, if you want to hear more about my thoughts on all of this!